Garrett told me he loved me this weekend. My stomach is still all fluttery, and I don't think I've stopped smiling since Friday.

I am making this note as a place to keep track of who I'm planning on gifting this year, and my own wish list for reference.

"Gifting" list:

Mom & Dad
Francesca
Garrett
Liz
Tara (Pool)
Courtney
Amanda (Salmen)

Ideas/suggestions from these people are appreciated, but not necessary.

If you are tagged but not listed here, it means I'm thinking of you, but it will depend on available funds this year around... expecting crafty things/baked goods is wise. ;)


Wish list:

Dracula's Greeting Poster
The Tell Tale Heart Shirt
Raven Skull Shirt
Red, lace up strap wedges from H&M
Slytherin Scarf
Massacre Ebony wand (You know you're a Harry Potter nerd when you ask for a wand for Christmas..)
Penthouse All-over Corset Boots
Zip-up, peep toe heels
Drink Me Alice shirt
A is for Alice shirt
RIP Thermal
Sephora Giftcard
Michael's Giftcard
Pocket watch:
-Skull Pocketwatch
-Clockwork Romance Steampunk Pocketwatch
-Gothic Victorian Pocketwatch
-Victorian Pocketwatch
Music boxes or gnarly old keys of any sort...

Kelly *******: glenn beck was the nicest guy. :) we gave him some m&ms! lol and i told this guy who was there opposing glenn beck to just shut up, get a job and stop mooching off society. i had a very productive day :)"


And for some reason, people wonder why I have little to no respect for just about anyone that watches Fox News or Listens to Glenn Beck. Granted, this girl is not the brightest crayon in the box anyway (went to middle and high school with her) but she's still one of those republicans that opens her mouth without thinking. Anyway, just wanted to share with you all some stupid for the day. (My response, by the way, was something akin to "Not everyone who opposes Glenn Beck is jobless or mooching off society, hun. And many of us are intelligent enough to know what we're talking about when we do."

Something (intelligent!) you might find amusing:

"*about the people at PCC with the Obama-Hitler Posters, La Rouchies, I believe they're called:*

"They don't believe in Global warming? Do they believe in Computers?

Women?

Trees?

JEWS?

Those are all about as likely to exist as global warming.

I mean really. PSH. Jewish people. What a crock of bull, right?"

Which is a fantastic example of why I love my best friend. God, I love intelligent people. I honestly don't care what party you support, or what your political or religious views. But please, THINK before you speak, or decide where you stand on any issue. I am registered as a Democrat, but really, I have no political party I am faithful to. I vote for and support what I think is RIGHT, regardless of what side a person or argument is coming from. Think, people.

Over a year ago, when Dave and I broke up I posted the first half of a song called "There's a Fine, Fine Line." I didn't post it just to be emo or hand out a guilt trip. I posted it because I hoped, one day in the future I'd be able to post the second half.

Now, I think I should. It does not signify closure, not in the least. I'm still a long, long way from that. But it does signify my realization that I can't and don't want to continue to suffer over this. It's over, and part of me still wishes it weren't. But it is. You have changed in many ways, and not at all in others. Many times I look at you and don't recognize you at all. The person I loved is long gone. I will not forget him, and I expect the memories of him will still hurt for a very long time. I can't hate you. I never have and I never will. I hold no animosity over what became of us. Plenty of regret, plenty of hurt, but no anger. I hope that the steps you have taken will be successful for you. I wish you so much happiness I can't even express it, I wish you wellness. I hope you learn something from it. I hope it does you more good than it has done me.  Know that if you need me, I will be there. You are still my best friend.

I promised that you would always have my heart. And perhaps, a piece of it you always will. But I would like it back. There's someone in my life now who says things very much like what you said to me many times. Sometimes the similarity frightens me, but I believe he means them, in earnest. Whereas, with you, I simply hoped. He reminded me you cannot pass up someone for any reason, because you may just miss out on something amazing. Something important. We haven't been together for very long at all. But sometimes I catch myself looking at him, with that expression I 'd have when I thought of you. When I'd hear "It Takes Two." The only thing is, my heart's still locked up and tangled in itself all over you. You may not ever read this, but I must take it back. I know you hate me, because I'm happy. Because I found someone to make me happy. But I hope you will wish me well, and allow me to take myself back from you. Allow me back my heart. I want to have it, so that if it ever does come to such a point, I could give it to him.

This is what I want now. Most of it will simply come with time, I suspect. But I'm beginning to think Garrett is something special,  and I have never done less than give my entire heart, unconditionally to the person I care about. I refuse to do any less this time and... I think this is a step in that direction. I'm glad I can finally post the end of this.

"And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time."

Today is the Opera Buff's concert, showcasing the best up and coming singers in the region. Ms. Ketchum has tickets so me and a few others of us from PCC's Opera Program are going to go and see it! I'm excited, it should be awesome!

Got my stained glass lolita dress in, so my "dia de los muertos doll" costume will probably happen at some point this halloween season.

Speaking of the Halloween... the Halloween musical I'm in... ugh. I don't even KNOW how it's going to work. Gonna be drilling lines all week. I mean... I'm not gonna complain when I've got the lead, but we've only JUST gotten our music. Garrett's not pleased either, he's playing TWO roles, so he's got way more to learn.

So, I haven't been posting here much. I know I still owe LJ a post about Anime Expo and all that good whatnot.. I'll get around to it. School is busy busy busy right now.

So, I auditioned for and got into the Opera Workshop program at school. The audition went pretty badly. I messed up twice and had to start over at the halfway mark, buuuuuuut... despite my mess ups, I SOUNDED good, which I guess must be why I got in. I was really pleased with how good I managed to sound despite my nerves. Still a lot of work to do though... I haven't sung on stage alone since high school.

Anyway, so we've gotten casting back.

I'm playing Miss Pinkerton in Old Maid and the Thief, and 2nd Spirit in Magic Flute! (2nd spirit was a last minute change, as the girl who was originally playing it couldn't make our show dates, so she had to drop the part.) I'm very exicted, I wanted to be in Magic Flute!

My part as Miss Pinkerton is actually really nice though. I "duet" with Miss Todd (our REALLY fantastic, rich contralto. Our colors go SO well together.) in the first scene, talking about the town gossip and our past loves. The song is pretty long, and through a lot of it I'm singing alone or doing recits. Also: It's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty. Ugh. I think it'll be doable with my range and taking into consideration my nerves. 

2nd spirit is in the scene where the spirits stop Pamina with that knife of hers. ;P rolling over into Papageno and Papagena's little duet. I just got the sheet music... so I'm not incredibly famliar with it yet. But it's in the lowerish middle of my range, so it shouldn't be an issue at all. (Also, our Papageno is FUCKING AMAZING.)

Overall, we're doing selected scenes from:
The Magic Flute
Old Maid and the Thief
La Serva Padrona
Hansel & Gretel
The Pearl Fishers (WANT. TO PLAY. LEILA. URGH.)

Part of me is really sad they're doing THE duet from Pearl Fishers... I've wanted to sing that forever. Granted, I CAN'T right now... but still. At least the girl doing it is good.

So.... YAY!

Today is September the 9th, 2009.


Today on 09/09/09, I turned 20 years old.

A specific post for feedback on items sold and items purchased. Please post feedback below in the comments.

I realize I've been INCREDIBLY lazy about posting on livejournal and keeping things up to date.. so, perhaps tomorrow or Tuesday I'm going to take some time and write some entries about all the stuff that's been going on.

• Anime Expo (with pictures)
• Labyrinth of Jareth (with pictures)
• Vegas-on-a-budget trip with Tara and Courtney (with pictures)
• Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince showings (midnight premiere, photos in the Venetian's rare book store and another midnight showing in Vegas)
• Trip to Whimsic Alley and the HP movie marathon we ran... including butterbeer!

So, expect to be spammed with a couple of posts and some pictures to go along with (including sexy HPverse pin ups).

Despite how amazing the last few weeks have been.. I have to say though, I've been incredibly stressed and depressed. Mostly to do with a certain matter involving Dave (which has been bothering me much more than I've let on to anyone I've spoken to about it. I don't know what to do.), and partially due to money issues and arguments with my parents. The Flea Genocide seems to be going well. Shady is still mildly infested but that will get better once he gets his next round of flea meds at the end of the month. The carpets have been sprayed and cleaned though, which seems to have pretty much taken care of the problem. My room is the last that remains to be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected (though it's bene sprayed/fumigated). So, that's on my agenda for this week, including a lot of organizing and laundry. But, at least the bugs aren't jumping all over us anymore and the living room and kitchen are clean.

P.S. Some character playlists and a few sketches are likely to be uploaded to adeo_absurdum this week, so keep your eyes peeled. And go add it if you haven't.

adeo_absurdum 

which translates from Latin as 'To the point of absurdity.'

The working name of the story is Ad Absurdum, but that was already taken. Adeo is a slightly more technically correct way to say 'to the point of.'

Please feel free to head over and add it if you like. The journal will contain notes, blurbs, sketches, character profiles... all sorts of developmental tidbits. I'm about to go make an art post over there, so to get you interested I'll give you a sneak peak! I appreciate all sorts of discussion/bouncing of ideas/critique.



http://adeo-absurdum.livejournal.com

Holy fucking shit.

MANA AND MOI DIX MOIS WILL BE AT ANIME EXPO 2009 AS EXPO'S GUESTS OF HONOR.

CONCERT AND PANEL WITH MANA!

*SQUEAL* I love living in California. <3

This means I will need to complete my gothloli coordinate before AX as well as my red classic one.

New Icons! I'd been feeling I wanted to change up my LJ userpics for awhile now... and I finally got around to it. These are some of my favorites.. but it was incredibly hard to choose considering how many I have.  Most of them I don't have credit for, so if they're yours/you know whose they are let me know so I can give credit. (Morphine! I commandeered your 'sing along' Glinda icon... is it one of yours? Or do you know who made it? If you want me to take it down I will. :).)

Life is... interesting at the moment. I may update a little more on why later on. 
For now, ciao belli. <3

 I came to a realization today while talking to my mom.

I don't like it, and I wish it weren't so.. but I realize now it's true.  Sigh.

Puzzle-freakin'-confetti. 

In other news, BJ's was tasty. We had the 'best waitress EVAR' again tonight. She's fantastic and I think all waitresses should aspire to be like her. Apparently, she also used to work in goth clubs. No wonder we hit it off. :P

I am bored. The dishes have probably soaked enough for me to get to washing them.

A soda sounds REALLY freaking good right now.  Crisp and delicious... mmmm. Unfortunately I don't have anything here at the apartment. Ah well, water is better anyway I suppose.

I will need to go shopping soon. And I am going through another annoying clothing-want stage. This time it's Lolita again. Bah!

Terrance's blog about our shadow cast was very good, and so I am quite pleased.

Liz and I are now watching animal planet. There are fuzzy baby cheetahs on it. :D

The surprise guest? ANTHONY STEWART HEAD.

Yes, the Repo man himself (and Giles from Buffy) was at our shadow cast. It was the first he's every been to. I have a picture, I'll edit this post to add it later. Last night was wonderful, Terrance had a good time teasing me about Chromaggia. :P It was definitely the best show we've put on yet.

Right now? I'm singing 'Summertime' while getting dinner ready and about to relax on the couch with a cold drink, my food and perhaps some TV. After that I will work on some school. I don't have a voice lesson tomorrow, don't have the money, but hopefully I will for Tuesday or next Sunday.  Just got back from Robek's Juice to grab an application.

I will be changing my LJ icons soon. Ideas/suggestions/links? 

A few short points, because I don't have time to write a long entry:

• "The Birds" was amazing. That last aria? Oh my GOD. I got so emotional. The music at the end was just so powerful, though the story itself was not what moved me to tears, but just the music and the singing. So gorgeous.  Highlights were Stacey Tappan, the lovely woman I drew the 'cat' commission for. The color of her voice is just beautiful. And her performance was wonderful. I can see why the reviews list her as a highlight of shows, because she REALLY is. (And no, I'm not just saying this because you're on my LJ, ;P .) The Italian soprano who played the Nightingale, Désiréé Rancatore, was also wonderful. I'd never seen a coloratura soprano (or met one) in real life before, so this was a real treat. So much better than hearing it on a CD or over youtube.

• Because of last night, I am even MORE determined to become a coloratura soprano. Though I am still conflicted as to whether I want to pursue opera or musical theatre.

• The last time I tried to sing 'The Doll Song' from Tales of Hoffman, there was very little I could hit. I tried it this morning after warming up and practicing Chromaggia, and there's a lot more I can hit now. I still can't get at some of the notes, but then again, I'm listening to the Natalie Dessay version, and from what I've heard she does what she's best at and adds a lot of height that I don't remember being there in other versions. So there's hope yet!

• I am loving tap dancing.

• I really want to look into bellydancing again. 1) Because I've been dying to learn and there are actually studios around here and 2) I want to make a belly dancer/gypsy costume for faire!

• Shadow cast performance of Repo! is tonight. I am feeling good about Mag and my performance, but nervous because the guys have been giving it  A LOT of hype and they're all going to be there tonight.

• I am looking FORWARD to going because that means... GELATO!

• I am performing in Shakespeare festival tomorrow with Tara. She's Queen Elizabeth and I'm a lady in waiting (I think). I'm supposed to have a British accent.. but I've never had to do one for any length of time. Tomorrow, if I SPEAK to someone I'm supposed to have it. This is will be interesting.

• I need to finish packing my show suitcase, so I will cut this off.

Every now and again, while listening to something like Wicked, Jekyll & Hyde or 'Easy as Life' from AIDA, I wish I were one of those goosebump-giving power belters. There's just something to be said about the sheer power of that sort of sound. It's beautiful and solid and dark.

And I think 'Wow, I would LOVE to be able to produce that kind of power and passion.' Which isn't to say classical voices can't, because they most certainly CAN. But really, there's nothing like a theatre-shaking belt. Defying Gravity, No Good Deed, Easy as Life, Good 'N' Evil, Bring of the Men...etc.

But, then I switch on Magic Flute or Tales of Hoffman and I remember WHY I dream of being a coloratura soprano. A little part of me will die inside if I can't achieve coloratura someday. There's just something about THAT sound that's like a slice of perfection to me. I'd be complete if I could sing like that <3 . 

However, fantastic power belts are MUCH more useful for keeping myself awake when I have drawing to do all night! And in other news, I STILL haven't been able to get ahold of a copy of "Will He Like Me?" from She Loves Me. I really want the new Broadway Cast version, but I can't find either and it's frustrating me. I can't work on Caro Mio Ben forever and I'm excited to start it, but without a piano or a music version I'm lost. My music reading skills have dulled in the past two years... gonna have to work on that definitely.

Just a quick musing and update. Back to work!

I have 'Tappercize!' tomorrow at 8:30 AM. I spent more money than I should have on my beautiful new tap shoes (but really had no other choice. I already paid the class fees and they can't be refunded at this point because I signed up late). Oh well, it'll just be ramen and Mac 'N' Cheese cups this week for lunch and dinner! I have a feeling this'll be worth it. Anyone willing to donate left-overs to me I will love forever! :D

I need to shower and go to bed. I'm already LATE to sleep. DX

Wish me luck Flist! Francesca, I get out at 9:30AM (12:30 your time) so call me around 1PM your time if I forget to call you after class. :D

Tonight is my shadow cast's debut performance. I'm excited and nervous and aldkjfa;dfja;lfkjadlfjdfldj.


I still don't think I have Chromaggia down well enough... but we'll find out. DLB and "special guests" will be there, so it should be interesting. I'm packing all my costumes up now and getting ready and shtuff. It should be a great show, and hopefully afterwards I will have photographic (possibly video as well) proof of the awesomeness.

Sunday I have my voice lesson but my throat is still sore so... I'm not sure how that will work. Sending off an e-mail to my coach to see what she thinks we should do. I had to miss last week cause of a complication, and I may miss this week because of my throat. :( This makes me sad. (If I do go, however, I will look forward to the DELICIOUS mango smoothy I will get at the cafe down the street from her place. :D)

Wish me luck everyone! And let's pray my boobs stay in that low-cut dress too! >< 

( An important, poignant thought )



We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.